Bullet.  Head.  I'm offended.  Aren't you, Dr. Greene?  Deeply, deeply wounded by your callous and uncaring remark.  In fact, I may have to start an investigation and interview others who might have been hurt by your vicious invective in the past.  Hmm...

They are looking for a sacrificial lamb, and right now you're looking pretty wooly!

Look, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but one night course does not a pain specialist make.

Well, isn't this a scrubfest?

Cute, Reese's Pieces.

(to Mahk) [Heck] of a job you ER docs have.  You have to scout out the territory and then call in the big boys to go in for the kill.

And that's why I prefer my patients anesthesized.

Romano: Didn't think I had a mother, did you?
Haleh: Just trying to picture her.

Benton: I was wondering if you were still looking for an extra set of hands.
Romano: Would those be 'Benton' hands?

I haven't seen you in...oh gosh, who really cares?

I'll go and inspire the rest of the troops!

I heard you've got bleeders popping up like prairie dogs in here.

Romano: I'm sorry, did you not get the memo?
Kerry: What memo?
Romano: The one that says I run the place.

If wishes were horses, we'd all be knee-deep in crap.

How's everything down in the leper colony?

I'm not gonna jump you, ya homophobe.

I ordered liver an hour ago and haven't seen my waitress since!

Who the [heck] are you and why are you talking to me?

What did you use to crack his chest, a hand grenade?

Is anybody in this city not sick?  It's like the [darn] plague down here.

Why mess with natural selection?  Nothing like a good influenza epidemic to thin the herds.

No thanks, I'd rather do a bowel resection.

If I wanted to see a good cat fight, I'd watch The View.

(Peter asks if Romano has any children)  None they've been able to pin on me.

Hard to believe she's crashing.  I can't think without all the alarms blaring.

That kid was a freak of nature and we have a responsibility to do research.

So, you've decided you like the looks of the 21st century.

Oh, no, someone call the interview police!

Super glue that pager to your forehead if you have to.

(to Gallant)  You can go away now.

Per diem means per my discretion.

Trolling for work, Peter?

So, who's watching the drugstore cowboy?

(to Chen)  Well, I guess I don't have to ask what you've been up to.  

Romano: You're scaring me, Peter, you're not your usual jolly self today.  You haven't developed a drug addiction or a drinking problem like the rest of your misfit buddies in the ER, have you?
Peter: Nope.
Romano: Give it time.

I'm sorry, this must be the day spa.  I was looking for the OR.

What genius replaced all the candy in the vending machines with raisins and rice cakes?

What are you, the nutrition nazi?

America's poor eating habits help keep us in business.

Kerry: Did you even take the Hippocratic Oath?
Romano: I had my fingers crossed.

Didn't he develop his addiction under your watchful eye?

You and I both know that I'm capable of the low blow; however, I rarely use it to such purity of purpose.

From now on, I'm only going to do favors for people who come begging at my doorstep.

Apparently we have a new resident starting today. Jing-Mei Chen, or sling ... well, anyway, I need you to say howdy doody.

What the [heck] did you use to make this incision, a chainsaw?

Come on, people!  The clock's ticking; his heart isn't!

How much of your brain did they cut out?

We're not going to have a bunch of lowlife junkies parading in and out of here.

It was a screaming success if your desired outcome was paralysis.

My gardener could've gotten a 3.8 at the U of I and he had his head run over by an ice cream truck when he was a kid.

Recarpeting my office?

Luka: My patients going to lose his airway.
Romano: So intubate him and take him in your Viper.

That's brilliant.  Did they teach you that in nursing school?

(to his Physical Therapist)  You are one sadistic [witch], you know that?

Therapist: Now, give me your middle finger.
Romano: I would if I could.

Yo!  "I am Spartacus" - come here!

That proletarian revolt you staged left us a little short-handed down here.

I told Weaver to fire you but you can't trust a lesbian to do a man's job, so instead I ended up babysitting three gorks and a dirtball with the DTs.  The last time I did ER scut work I had a ponytail and a lava lamp.  I do not enjoy revisiting those days!

Try to keep the public displays of affection to a minimum.  This is a workplace, not a parade.

Kerry: The surgery went well.
Romano: So they say.  But, you know how surgeons lie.

I signed the third quarter income projections.  You know, we should evacuate the hospital once every year for the money we're saving.

Hey, Kerry. What, are you lurking around men's rooms now, changing tunes again?

Well, well, well.  If it isn't the lean, Greene, fighting machine.

You want to be a parent?  Shut up and do your job!

Ah, so it appears that Carter has been playing Mommy against Daddy.

Ohhhh, I'm at County!

Your 15 minutes is up. 

Romano: We're not talking about me.
Kerry: Isn't that your favorite subject?

I had no choice.  This poor swine was full of stones.

Even with one arm I'm a better surgeon than the rest of the hacks in this hospital.

Last time I checked, I was still head of both surgery and this hospital.

Just keep me abreast of any other Weaver covert ops.  The last thing I need is Mata Hari leading a palace coup.

Everybody - off the elevator!  Take the stairs next time, you'll live longer!

Get her the [heck] in here.  Maybe she can debride this guys wound without using a chainsaw.

Would somebody please call Tiffany's search and rescue team!

I know most people don't like me.  I don't care.  I don't like most people.  But I'm good at what I do.  I save people's lives, everyday.  People who no one else can help.

Excessive therapy?!  Excessive?  How's this for excessive - I had my arm sliced off.  I mean, what do I need to do to get full therapy, I have to have a pack of wolves come chew off my leg too?!

Look, my physical therapist, my orthopedic surgeon, and the chief of staff of the hospital that pays your premiums...  What's his name again?  Oh, that's right.  Meeeee!

It's not disability, you gnat!  I'm still working!  Hello?  Hello??  Coward!

Peek and shriek still out of it?

You know, I'm going to have to get you your own complaint box.

This place is littered with masochists.  Just make sure he doesn't kill anyone.

Romano:  You [except it sounds like "dude"] -- anything monosyllabic you care to add other than apologies for being late?
Abby: Sorry?
Romano: That's two syllables

Come on upstairs, sir, where the good drugs are!

Girl:  I'm scared!
Romano:  Don't be.  Rocket Romano never lets anything happen to pretty girls like you. 

(After Alderman Bright compliments Kerry, and she crutches off, trying to speak to him privately):  Yeah, she's our own...little...articulator.  Where ya goin', Kerry?

Anspaugh:  It's a gift, Robert. I suggest you take it.
Romano:  Take it right up the [butt].

Let's see, what's next? I could cut it while slicing a bagel and not realize it until I pass out from blood loss...Or maybe I could set the [darn] thing on fire.

So I can be a jerk. So what? I've always been honest. Brutally honest. Bruised some egos, hurt some feelings, maybe, uh, provoked a few tears, but uh -- honesty is a [heck] of a lot more than most people can claim.

I don't deserve this.

To Kerry's new assistant:  Bite me, Nancy.

To Luka:  Why do you think, Igor.  You're on my hit list.

Romano:  Who supplies the nurses' scrubs?
Abby:  Allied.
Romano:  Switch to Lindermen -- they hug booty better.

Get rid of this coffee machine in here!  You losers can pay for your own java!

How are ya, hon?  Don't tell me, don't tell me!

Hands off, lowlife.